DUO IMAGO EMDR Therapy for couples
DUO IMAGO EMDR therapy is a unique approach to working together as a couple to resolve both individual and couple issues. The DUO objective is to prepare you as a couple to practice good communication at home. DUO is a combination of couples therapy, and individual therapy, bringing together the best of both worlds. DUO incorporates two types of individual therapy - solo and group-based EMDR. The latter is where both of you undertake EMDR at the same time using the DUO workbook.
What is EMDR?
EMDR is considered an effective treatment for a range of issues that you may be experiencing individually and in your relationship. This could look like feelings of fear or anxiety, the urge to submit to others, or cling. It could also look like reactions of rage or anger, or an urge to flee or avoid. Sometimes it could even look like despair, depression and a numb or a frozen-off response in the face of certain stressors or triggers.
All of us have the innate cabability to fight, flee, or freeze - however sometimes we overuse these reactions because we are triggered by something that may remind us of our past, usually in childhood. These reactions may not serve us as an adult so the responses themselves start causing us problems too! For example your partner raising their voice may remind your brain of your parent dominating you as a child, and instead of responding as an adult you react in a more survival way by yelling back even louder. This reaction then causes you guilt and shame and you might cope in ways to avoid those feelings, in turn affecting your relationship more. This creates a cyclical loop of symptoms, and effects, due to unresolved causes.
What is important to remember is that we also have an innate propensity for healing. So while we cannot change what happened to us, we can change how we think and feel about it, which in turn helps us respond better in life. This is essentially processing, which EMDR helps facilitate.
EMDR Therapy targets the disturbing material (negative thoughts, yucky imagery, unpleasant body sensations, intense emotions) by using bilateral stimulation of the brain (normally by using the eyes). This is called de-sensitisation and reprocessing, and it helps you feel calmer. This in turn enables you to respond differently in real life. Combining this technique with IMAGO techniques add even more benefit to you and your relationship. Some people like to know that EMDR is not a talk therapy, so what you say in the session can be minimal.
What is IMAGO?
IMAGO is a Relationships Therapy which uses special dialogues to help you learn to communicate better with your partner so issues are resolved more readily and thoroughly. You will learn to communicate your frustrations, your biggest desires, your most fond life experiences, and your unmet needs and deepest wounds. Talking about your wounds has a dual benefit: it helps you uncover and discover more about you, and it also helps create empathy in your relationship, which along with committment, are essential components of a deep love relationship.
The premise of IMAGO is that in a couple we have similar wounds, but different tendencies for coping and different skills for functioning. This means we do have the capability to empathise because we know how it feels to have a similar wound, and we can also learn from our partner's differing skills to our own. Likewise our partner can learn from our differing skills, adaptations, and needs. In summary, we learn to meet in the middle, and become a better Duo. You will learn the dialogues during the completing of your workbook.
What to expect
- Contact me by email for a free brief phone conversation. There are some suitability criteria for DUO, for example it's best if you both feel confident talking about your childhoods and you're able to self manage intense feelings. Also, timing is everything - if your life feels in crisis whether that's mentally, physically, spiritually, or socially, then it would be best to get some individual help first before undertaking DUO.
- If you're ready for DUO we can have our first session where we can determine a plan for you. Your plan will likely begin with some EMDR in a solo format. This will help you process some of the 'old stuff' that might be fueling your reactions in your relationship. It can be good to have your partner present, that way they learn about you too. You can choose how much you share, as most of your processing is an inside job anyway. Throughout this stage I will be weaving in some IMAGO relationships techniques too, such as appreciations.
- When you feel ready you will receive your DUO workbooks, which include EMDR worksheets (suited to a group setting) and IMAGO Relationships dialogues. In this stage you do your own EMDR at the same time as your partner.
- When you have completed the workbook and/or feel ready to practice IMAGO at home, then we finish, and you are welcome to return for top-up sessions as you wish.
Fees for DUO IMAGO EMDR
Fees for DUO IMAGO EMDR are $241.50 for one hour. There is an additional one-off charge for the baseline plan if you wish to proceed to that stage after your first session.
DUO Training for Practitioners
I am developing training in DUO to teach you how to use and succeed with the DUO workbook and approach. Find out more here.